Trouble Within the Ranks


Over the past two weeks some disturbing stories have come to light at my place of employment. Stories of verbal and mental abuse. Stories of a plot to undermine and discredit our boss. Stories of the abuse of power and position being held over others. Stories of the society being robbed of time and taken advantage of. With a snake in the grass stirring the pot and acting as a go between, setting the stage of negativity on multiple fronts; Satin has slowly and surely crept into our tight little family of love, respect and support and turned it to one of fear, resentment, hurt feelings and a lack of trust.

I work at a Christian Charity, dedicated to the poor and under privileged. We continue the good work of our founder, to the glory of God. How is it possible that no one saw this coming? It’s because we are all guilty of burying our heads in the sand. It’s because even though we are a Christian non-profit Society, we cannot legally draw attention to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Bible or the power of prayer and faith. This opens the door for Satanic scum to move in and about. Just like schools, workplaces, businesses and everywhere else in North America, the population trust in themselves and sets their own standards. Then it becomes all about rights and if rights just happen to violate others rights, so what. One person’s rights should never supersede another’s for any reason. There are responsibilities to others that must be considered before one can claim their own rights. Oh my, did Satin forget to mention that?

I have big news for everyone, worldwide and I hope some of my co-workers are reading this post and will take particular notice. IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! IT’S ALL ABOUT GOD! You are not in control, God is. You have your job because God has granted it to you. Everything you have ever achieved is because of God’s grace, not your own futile efforts.

You do not have the right to gossip at work or anywhere. This is a gutless cowardly slimeball move, supported by Satin and his goonies. It is disrespectful from the very start, Jesus referred to gossip as committing murder in your heart. Manipulation seems to have married with gossip in this case and for the snake in the grass slithering around behind everyone’s back, this is appalling. Are you working with us or against us?  

No one has the right to insult another person by name calling. Let’s leave this to immature and poorly raised little children. Out and out profanities being yelled in public not only degrades your fellow employee but strikes all innocent parties within hearing distance. As if this act isn’t evil enough, the fact it is coming from an employee of a religious charity is downright shocking. Do you have any moral standards what-so-ever?

Making a public vow to bring down your boss and threaten to damage that person’s reputation with a secret letter to specific parties, with the goal of having that person fired is just down right yellow bellied cowardice.

Mulling around and wasting time to avoid more work while being paid, is stealing. Stealing is stealing in God’s eyes but I just can’t help thinking that stealing from a religious charity that is honoring God might be one place to avoid going. It’s a slippery and steep slope that leads to Hell. One may want to avoid stepping onto it.

Personal phone calls at the charities expense and on the Society’s, time is again a form of stealing. Personal banking, and other business while being paid an hourly wage? Stealing.

Sitting back and stalling while others do all the labor and eating when co-workers have not eaten and are trudging forward without your help, shows a complete lack of respect and is totally not fair.

Pumping yourself up presenting yourself as God’s gift the employer, knowing all that your guilty of. I’m not sure what to call that without offending God. I’ll gently refer to it as supremacy, pride and deceit otherwise known as lies.

Blaming others for what you are responsible for? Self-serving lies.  

Two employees quit and moved on because of various types of abuse feeling that they did not have a voice because they were yet, rookies. Two more employees struggled and finally found the courage to speak out about their abuse but now will work in fear of retaliation.

How do two beaten down and abused rookies keep face and resist retaliation? I would have to suggest that they can’t. They need the all mighty power of God to step in and defend them. Here’s the problem! I do not believe that either of them is saved, I do not believe either have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. If not, they are still filthy with their own sin and God is not with them. They must accept Jesus and invite Christ into their hearts, believing in him. They must believe and know that Jesus has taken their sins upon himself and forgiven them. They have to know that their sins have condemned them to death but Jesus took their sins and died on their behalf. They must know that Jesus’ suffering and death is the only acceptable sacrifice that God our Father in Heaven would accept in order to see them cleansed of their sins. Only then can they stand in the presence of God and ask for His help.

It is so important that the Gospel or the Good News is shown to everyone because without it they are on their own.

Will you share the Good News to unbelievers before it’s too late? Before they find themselves in a predicament where they need God’s mighty right hand but they do not qualify? With God all they would have to do would be to stand back and refuse to argue or defend themselves so that God would be clear to step in and fight for them.

I’ll try my best to get through to these two co-workers. I could use your prayers for courage and the correct words to speak.     Thanks in advance.  

Faith or Fear? Worship or Worry?

Hope in Jesus

The very same day that The World Health Organization declared the Corona Virus a pandemic, people reacted. Some started to stock pile face masks, others swooped in to buy all the toilet paper and others scooped up all the hand sanitizer. A lady came into our store and bought flannel sheets to cut up into pieces, to use as a toilet paper substitute. Usually we Canadians are pretty laid back and approach life in a more relaxed manner but now, shear fear is taking over.

As the next days unfolded it became very apparent that the vast majority of the people were panicking. They were out buying everything and anything. There were two and a half hour long lineups to enter big box stores. The grocery stores had their shelves decimated. I went to one grocery store to pick up my prescription at the pharmacy after work. I walked around the store to see what everyone was talking about. All pasta was sold out, all the rice, all the bread, all of the frozen vegetables and almost all of the canned goods. There was no toilet paper, napkins or paper towels and no hand sanitizer just as everyone had said. I bought two cans of tomato paste that I would use the next day to make a favorite soup. I bought a new flavor of cookies for dunking in my coffee, coconut/mango, and I bought four liters of 1% milk for my coffee and cereal. Nothing I bought was for long term survival, nor was anything a need. Everything I bought was a want on impulse.

I felt uneasy as I walked through the store. I wasn’t fearful and it wasn’t shock or bewilderment with the vacant shelves but rather a deep feeling of pity and sadness for the droves of people who were there before me.  We live in a first world country where everything is so plentiful, we have become wasteful. This day I was looking at the evidence of chaos, brought about by fear and uncertainty.

Just one short week ago my city, my country in fact, or shall I say the world, was largely basking in an overabundance of pride, sufficiency and contentment. Then suddenly, overnight, greed, selfishness, scamming and scheming, and distrust became the new normal.               

 20 years ago, the big worrisome fear was Y2K, do you remember that? Mass hysteria, panic, ill thought out plans, opportunist and scams cost large companies and individuals millions upon millions of dollars. People wouldn’t fly because they thought planes would drop out of the sky. They wouldn’t drive because automobile computers would fail. It was speculated that trains and subway cars would crash.  This fear came and passed and in hindsight, was there really anything worthy of the fear that was felt?

Today the runner up is the Corona Virus or Covid-19. Will it pass? Absolutely! The big questions seem to be, what will the health impact be and what will the financial fallout look like? Who knows? Can you or I control it? NO! All the worrying in the world won’t fix a thing! I’m placing it all in God’s hands and I’m trusting Him to solve these problems.

Listen, all this panic is from Satin. God is calling us to faith. Turn your thoughts to Jesus Christ, our savior and be free of fear. I’m not in a panic. I know my God. Everyone who knows me will testify I am at total peace. All you have to do is turn your worries into worship. You cannot worry and worship at the same time, they are opposites of one another. When you worry you are not worshiping and when you worship you don’t worry. 

It’s so sad to me that very obviously all of these panic shoppers have no connection to God or Jesus. Even members of my church are panic buying and they say they know and trust in the Lord. So, even more disturbing to me, is that many so-called Christians do not have faith in their God.

Are you at peace with God? Can you place your faith in Jesus Christ to get you through this pandemic, unscathed? If not, would you like to know what props me up? Would you like to witness the peace that surpasses all understanding? Read, Psalm, chapter 91. For easy understanding here it is from the International Children’s Bible

Those who go to God Most High for safety
    will be protected by God All-Powerful.   (go to Him now with the prayer below)
I will say to the Lord, “You are my place of safety and protection.
    You are my God, and I trust you.”   (say it out load, now)

God will save you from hidden traps
    and from deadly diseases.   (you must believe it)
He will protect you like a bird
    spreading its wings over its young.    (picture a hen with her chicks under her)
    His truth will be like your armor and shield.    (now that’s protection)
You will not fear any danger by night    (you’ll rest peacefully)
    or an arrow during the day.   (you can walk in peace)
You will not be afraid of diseases that come in the dark    
    or sickness that strikes at noon.   (that includes viruses)
At your side 1,000 people may die,    (unbelievers and followers of Satin)
    or even 10,000 right beside you.    
    But you will not be hurt.        (Christians with faith in God)
You will only watch what happens.
    You will see the wicked punished. 

The Lord is your protection.  (A-men)
    You have made God Most High your place of safety.
10 Nothing bad will happen to you.
    No disaster will come to your home.   (your family is protected because of your faith)
11 He has put his angels in charge of you.   (angels plural, more than one)
    They will watch over you wherever you go.   (global protection 24/7)
12 They will catch you with their hands.    (that’s security)
    And you will not hit your foot on a rock.    (Satin will not be allowed to trip you up)
13 You will walk on lions and cobras.      (Satin will be kept below you)
    You will step on strong lions and snakes.  (you will walk all over Satin)

14 The Lord says, “If someone loves me, I will save him.      (praise God)
    I will protect those who know me.      (get to know Him, today)
15 They will call to me, and I will answer them.  (He’s listening and waiting for your call)
    I will be with them in trouble.     (now and forever)
    I will rescue them and honor them. 
16 I will give them a long, full life.
    They will see how I can save.”  (witness His blessings with me)

Matthew 23: 37 “Jerusalem, Jerusalem! You kill the prophets and kill with stones those men God sent to you. Many times, I wanted to help your people! I wanted to gather them together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings. But you did not let me.    

(You must want Jesus to help you. You have to let him help you. If you don’t want help and won’t let him help, he won’t and he can’t.   If you’re drowning and your thrashing all around trying to help yourself, no one can help you but when you get tired and give up, cry out and then you can be saved. Give yourself up to Jesus and stop trying to do everything your own way, then he’ll help.

If you have not given your heart to Jesus and you want his immediate protection, say this prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus:                                                                                                                                

I don’t understand everything about you and our Father in Heaven, but I am ready to accept you as my lord and savior. I understand that you voluntarily went to the authorities knowing they would wrongfully convict you and sentence you to die on the cross. I understand that you were perfect and sinless and yet you took ALL of the sins of the world (mine included) into death with you. Through your sacrifice I have been forgiven and made pure in God’s sight. I believe that three days later you were resurrected and after 40 days of showing yourself to your friends and many witnesses, you ascended into Heaven to sit with God our Father. I understand Lord Jesus that the only way I can be saved and enter into Heaven is through you. I give you my heart, mind and soul. I desire you to be my guide, my shepherd, my teacher and my savior. In your name I pray this prayer. A-men     

Read Deuteronomy 28: 1-14 To see God’s blessing on you.

Number Eight of the Big Ten

God made a set of laws for us to follow. Ten straight forward, easily understood rules. All we have to do is obey ten simple commandments and we’re in God’s good books. Easy peasy, I mean how hard can it be to obey 10 rules? Well I don’t know about you, but I’ve failed at each and every one of them uncountable times throughout my life.

I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior and he paid the most expensive fine ever levied for my breaking these rules. The only acceptable payment would be the blood sacrifice of a perfect lamb. Jesus was the only perfect man to ever have walked on this planet, and he dirtied himself with my sins. He took all the blame for what I committed and paid my fines in full with his life, setting me free.

 Do you know how I repaid Jesus for this blessing of all blessings, for his suffering and his death? I went right ahead and broke every one of the ten commandments again, and again, and again. Have you done the exact same thing as I have? Thank goodness for us, that Jesus paid for “ALL” of our sins. That’s every broken rule from our past, every sin we committed today and every commandment dishonored in the future. “ALL” sins.

Today, I want to address commandment number eight. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” Plain and simple, I am not to lie. Do I ever lie?  No, not ever! That was a lie about not lying. God is truth and we are to honor Him by not lying.

I have another skeleton in my closet and it was born from a lie. A lie that needs to be brought out into the open so that I can be more at ease with myself. A lie that I am tired of carrying around. A lie that threatens to be discovered. A lie that will surely tear down my integrity.

This particular lie started off as a way to avoid recurring suffering and pain when individuals innocently stirred up the single most painful unforgiven catastrophe of my life. The one I tried to ignore, bury and hide. My divorce. I did the complete opposite of what the apostle Paul advised in Ephesians 4:31 NIV

All it took was a few inquisitive words to set me off, like; Are you married? Where’s your wife? Did your wife come with you? Is she here? Why didn’t you bring your wife? I’d really like to meet your wife someday! To which I would reply, “I am divorced, I don’t have a wife”. Now that should’ve been the end of it, but no. Then the inevitable questions would come, the looks of disappointment, the prying, and sometimes I swear people just like to dwell on the misery of others so they can feel better about their own messed up lives.

These questions would expose the hatred I had stored up inside which provided fuel for the questioner to pour back onto the fire they just fanned into full flame. Oh dear! I’m so sorry! Oh my, what happened? Whose fault was it? How long has it been? You must be so lonely! Do you have children? How are they taking it? Is there anything I can do? What advice do you have about divorce? So now that you’re available, I have this friend…. Will you marry again?

These thoughtless replies and digs would bring back to memory all the greed, deceit, accusations, cheating lawyers, unfair statements, concocted self-purposing lies and financial loss. They would cost me weeks of sleepless nights, again, as I battled with my fury. One day after about four years of this malarkey I came up with the reply, “I’m a widower, my wife was killed in a car accident.” The inquisitive person is usually too shocked and too embarrassed to ask any further questions. An apology is usually offered, a little sympathy poured out and then they shuffled off on their way. This was brilliant. Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Thus a lie was born.

Over time, questions concerning the death of my wife surfaced here and there and I unthinkingly provided quick answers to satisfy whoever was asking and to protect my claim. The lie was expanding and becoming more and more detailed, morphing into a hybrid. I repeated the hybrid lie so many times that it became a reality in my mind. Psalm 119:29 NLT I could still hate her, despise her, slander her in my heart and deny that she ever hurt me as deeply as she did. She was where she belonged, murdered, dead to me, out of my life. The hybrid lie also replaced disappointment and shame with the sympathy I desired. No one ever upset me again and I was at peace. Or, so I thought.  

This hybrid lie has retarded my life and my ability to move forward. Thirty eight years later I still had not forgiven my estranged wife as I never needed to. With the help of the Holy Spirit I realized the weight I was carrying and the need to offload it. All this time I have tried to hurt her by not forgiving her, but she doesn’t even care or know. I have only been hurting myself.  

Exposing myself, to rid my soul of this heavy burden would be a lot easier if I could be guaranteed that no one that I knew, would ever read this blog. All of my very nearest and dearest friends, many of my acquaintances and even my pastor have given me their sympathy which I accepted wrongfully. I have abused their love and care for me. Now I risk losing their friendship and their trust. I am trying to establish myself as a man of integrity and this certainly does not lend itself to my efforts.     

I never intended to hurt anyone but have succeeded in hurting everyone. Now it’s out in the open. I can start to breathe once again. Satin will not be able to derail me by exposing this secrete. I have exposed it myself.

It all started with one tiny little lie. I’m a widower!       

The Skeletons in my Closet

Hidden facts that should they ever be discovered, will undoubtedly damage my reputation. They threaten to destroy my most valued relationships and at the very least when exposed, people’s perceptions of me will be changed. I am ashamed and afraid of being rejected.

Satan hunted me down when I was weak. He found me when I had rejected God. He toyed with my mind, he enticed me, he lured me and he created irresistible situations. He set his traps for me. They were all disguised as fantastic opportunities, sugar coated lies and dreams he promised would come true.

To his delight I ran into trap after trap after trap.  For most of my life I played along and lived his lies. I was buried so deep and it seemed there was no way out. Living in sin was all that I knew. He taught me well.

God was watching and extending His hand. “Trust me, believe in me”. “Choose everlasting life over death”. I knew He was there. My heart told me so.  I could not see HIM but I could see my bank account, my trust funds, my investments, my new home, my new vehicles, my well-paying job, my circle of friends, travel, parties, lovers and I wanted more, more, more.

God created me for Himself and He wanted me back. God passed judgment upon me and He initiated His discipline. Stock market crashes, a horrific, costly, divorce and custody battle, lost employment, a sour property investment, crooked lawyers, false friends and I was crushed. When my head stopped spinning and I saw that the vast majority of all I had worked for all my life had vanished, I turned to the one friend who I thought would save me and he turned his back on me.  

 For the first time in my life I ran out of resources and I had no more answers. I didn’t know what to do. It all seemed hopeless. I threw myself a pity party and after a long hard cry and crying myself to sleep. Something touched me and led me to get down on my knees. I cried out to Jesus, I confessed many, many sins and begged for his forgiveness, for him to take me in, love me, help me and be my guide.

It’s been a little over three years since that day. For a while I still continued to sink but I held on to Jesus’ hand and refused to let go. I prayed to know God and I prayed for the zeal to learn more about Him. I began to read the Bible faithfully every day and research scriptures. I signed up for daily devotionals and began reading Christian based and themed books.  I started to attend church and prayed regularly.

In the last few months my life has finally started to turn around for the better. Blessings abound and I am so appreciative. I have actually received messages from God Himself. I am feeling so very confident and I know that everything is going to be alright. BUT! Guess who has never left?

There is one who is not pleased in the least that I have turned to God and Jesus and man is he ever angry. I cannot begin to count the ferocious attacks that Satin has come at me with. He wants me back and he’s playing dirty. There are many skeletons hanging in my closet. He helped me put them there. Things I’ve done that I am not proud of and lies I’ve concocted to hide shameful things. Stories I’ve told and people I’ve hurt, actions that threaten to destroy friendships and many unbelievable acts that will damage my new Christian character.

Satin was once so accommodating and he made it easy for me to achieve anything that I wanted. He congratulated me on jobs well done and suggested that I deserved more. He set up new temptations everywhere. All mine for the taking. Today these sinful acquisitions are my shame. They are the skeletons in my closet and he threatens to expose them so that he can bring me down.

These skeletons are my own and they are keeping me at a distance from God. Satin reminds me every day and asks me, “What were you thinking”?  He tells me, “You are such an idiot to think you could ever get away with that”!  

My only freedom will be to dig these skeletons out and expose them to the world, myself. I don’t see that I have any other choice. It is the only way that I can disarm Satin and improve my relationship with God.      

Many of us have skeletons hidden away. How will you deal with yours? I could sure use your prayers as I attempt to clean out my closets.   

House Cleaning with, “The Holy Spirit”

Before seeking Jesus, confessing my sins, asking for forgiveness and asking him to take over my messed up life, it was not uncommon for me to wake up for several hours in the middle of the night. I would awake enraged with anger over some issue that occurred the previous day, week or even months and sometimes years earlier. I would be so upset that it would take me hours to get back to sleep. I could never solve the angering problem and most often I would watch television or read a book until I could be distracted enough or calmed down enough to return to bed and finish what was left of the night.

Sometime soon after seeking and asking Jesus to take charge in my life, I had my first encounter with The Holy Spirit. I didn’t know it at the time but hindsight is 20/20. Now I understand some of the gifts of The Holy Spirit that Jesus gave to me when I reached out to him and accepted him as my Lord and Savior.

The encounter was right after I woke up in a fit of anger. At first I dove right into the problem, swinging and kicking, thinking of what I should have said and should have done at the time, muttering profanities under my breath. Then, when I realized I was losing the battle yet again, I got this idea to ask Jesus for his help. I explained what was going on and that I was the victim and needed his help. What happened next was pretty amazing. That problem dissipated and in no time at all I was lying back down and dozing off to sleep.

What a great idea I had. Why didn’t I think of it a long time ago. I had heard talk about The Holy Spirit but I had no idea where he fit into the grand scheme of things. The only things I understood was God is the creator and Jesus is our Savior. I figured that I had discovered all on my own that the way to beat these Satin antagonized bouts of anger was for me to remember to ask Jesus to help me. I’m not sure who tipped me off that it was not me that thought to go to Christ for help, but that it was actually The Holy Spirit that gave me the idea and prompted me to stop fighting and leave it for Jesus to battle it out. He is my shepherd and protector.

It must have been the better part of the first two years of my becoming a Christian before I stopped trying to deal with my sleep time anger problems on my own. Then realizing that to avoid defeat all I had to do was run to Jesus and let him settle the score. No one has ever accused me of having a thin cranium. There’s some pretty dense bone and matter up there that makes it pretty difficult for knowledge and experience, to break through and take up residency.

At about the two and half year mark as a Christian I had finally learned that The Holy Spirit was a gift from Jesus and that he actually lived right inside of me. I had begun to communicate with him one on one, and prayed, and gave thanks to him right along with Abba and Jesus. The Holy Spirit has taught me to recognize when I am under attack and when Satin has begun throwing old wounds at me. When I fail to react right away The Holy Spirit gives me a nudge. I’ve learned to not even try to resist, but to run straight to Jesus immediately.

Psalms 139: 23-24 NLT : Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Up to a point I was always on the defense, reacting to Satin’s ploys. At some point the Holy Spirit turned the tables and we became the offense. I would pray to The Holy Spirit to dig out a piece of garbage that was lingering around inside me. He lived in me and who would know better the gunk that was in there than he. I would ask that he bring to my attention the pieces of baggage that he knew I would be able to handle. Those old unforgiven hurts were dragged out of the closets and presented to me, often in the middle of the night or early pre waking hours. I would wake up, realize what they were and take them to Jesus. I would pray with Jesus that I forgive this person for doing that to me, pray for healing in that person and then mentally with Jesus we would fold up that hurt, tie it up secure and we would throw it in the furnace and watch it burn until there was nothing left but ashes.

One day I tried to remember the hurts that had been tossed out. I planned to count them up and see how many we had gotten rid of. I could not for the life of me remember what the hurts were that we had tossed away. When Jesus takes on a sin it is washed away forever, once and for all.  It is hard to imagine that I had carried all that excess baggage, some of it for decades. Some of it was so old and so insignificant now that I had to laugh at the immaturity of it. How much needless stress did I put myself through by not forgiving these hurts at the time? How much energy and how much of my life have I wasted carrying all this unnecessary waste?

The Holy Spirit has done some serious housecleaning in me. He did not just dig out my hurt feelings but also grudges, jealousy and wrongs that I did to others and never apologized for (OUCH!) This housecleaning exercise is still underway to this day. I hate to admit it but there are still sins so embedded inside that it may be a while yet before they’re dislodged. Wounds and sins so painful that I have made up lies to cover them and to deal with them. Lies that I’ve convinced myself are true. Lies that I have convinced some of my nearest and dearest friends are true. For me, it is very important that I am able to present myself new to my friends and as clean as possible and new to the Lord.

I know Jesus washed the slate clean with his precious blood some two thousand years ago and I am not trying to buy my way into heaven because we cannot. With the help of The Holy Spirit and Jesus I can take a load of heavy weights off and live a much freer life that I am sure pleases our Father in heaven.  

Romans 6:13 NLT : Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourself completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.

The Grocery Hoard

I have moved back into the city and the few possessions that I have are in bags and boxes and my two suit cases. Since leaving Ecuador, I’m like a drifter carrying all my worldly goods with me place to place. Oh why did I buy that extra-large cast iron frying pan?

Not even settled in yet and after only a few days in my new residence I woke up early one morning and began my quite time. I’m not too sure if was a dream or if it came to me as just a thought but I had this idea in my mind to take all the groceries I had brought with me and give them away.

What a crazy thought! Why would I do that? I brought them with me because I need them. I have to eat just like everyone else. Those groceries I have are to sustain me as long as possible and I have to carefully watch over my spending while I search for a job. After I find a job and I have an income it won’t be a problem. So at that, I didn’t give it another thought and went on with my day. The next morning I couldn’t stop thinking about why I should give away the groceries that I was presently eating from. This thought just wouldn’t go away. Finally I figured well, I can give them away and then just go out and get some more. I can’t really afford it but I feel that this is what I should do, so I’ll do it. There seems to be a lot of “I’s” in this paragraph, huh!

After some time and still thinking about this give away idea, the Holy Spirit within me began to bring to my attention all that God has provided throughout my life. He has always given what was needed and when it was necessary. In fact, He has provided substantially more than what was ever required. Always praying for faith and proclaiming faith in Him. It’s now testing time. Jesus clearly planted the idea to give away the greedy hoard that’s stashed away to test my faith, my trust in him. Is it a lot of hot air that has been being prayed or could this Christian finally be ready to exercise some of that sworn faith.  

Jesus is teaching my faith, to trust in him and to begin living in faith, day by day with the add-on, what it feels like to be truly generous. No more quarters and dollar coins for the poor. This time some new bars are being set. Now, it’s my coveted grocery stash, possibly a hundred dollars cut from a fund that’s quickly running dry.   Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV

I headed on down into the basement to gather all the grocery items. I removed any items that were opened. No one would want something that was opened and food banks would throw it away because it could be contaminated. Then I thought to myself, I’ll remove the baking items because poor people most likely don’t have the other ingredients to add, in order to make something out of what I had to give. Then I took out some cans of kidney beans, chick peas, black-eyed beans, and tomato paste and chopped tomatoes. These items can’t be used because unless you have spices and the other ingredients to make soups and chili con carne they would be of no use to the needy. What was left over was not very much. So my solution, I’ll just go shopping and get some things that people in need can use.

At the grocery store I looked at some cans of tuna that were on sale and I noticed that some had pull tabs to open the cans. What a great idea because poor people may not have can openers. This is when God reached down and boxed my ears a good one. That brain rattling set me thinking in a different way.

Of course people who need a helping hand have can openers. I don’t but I can borrow one and so can they if they don’t. I bet they have pots and pans and glasses, plates and cutlery and a stove to cook on too. How utterly ridiculous I’m being. In the way that I’m thinking, there is nothing I can give to anyone because they won’t be able to get into it, cook it or eat it. Thanks for your input Satin!

God put it into me right there and then to add back all the items I had removed and I would buy extra to make up for the items removed because they were open or half eaten.

On Sunday I took the groceries to church. I had no idea if the church had a food bank but I figured they would find some way or someone who could use them. I asked the greeter at the entrance of the church and he told me that the church does not collect groceries.

During the service the reverend announced that in two weeks’ time the church would be starting their spring food drive in support of the local food banks. Hmmmm! Do you think God has been busy? I do not believe in coincidences. I believe that everything is done according to God’s will.

Alright! It’s time to ponder this through. What are the lessons here, for me?

  1. On numerous occasions I have expressed to God, “Whatever you ask of me, my answer is yes, even if it doesn’t seem to make sense to me. You know what’s best”
  2. Initially I completely failed here when I selfishly thought of my own needs and discounted any crazy notion that I should give away any of my own food.
  3. Failing even further when I finally came around and agreed to give away the groceries, I began to claw them back, greedily justifying to myself why I should not give some of the loot.
  4. By thinking, I’ll just go and buy more to replace them, I totally missed the point of this exercise. Jesus wants me to depend on him, he is my provider not my bank account.
  5. When God spoke or in this case planted a suggestion in my mind, again I counted it as my own idea and pushed God aside.  
  6. If I want to hear Him I have to be quiet, focused and not so quick to take over, as I always have. Psalm 143:8 ESV

Will God give up on me? No way! Isaiah 41:10 CSB. When I don’t get it, the Holy Spirit will point out to me and will remind me what God has said. John 14:26 TLB.

Did I pass the test? I think so, and I picked up a few new pointers as well.

Can you relate to this situation? Send me your story, when God spoke to you and how you responded.

March 30th, 2019

I am now back in London where I originally thought I would be upon returning back to Canada from Ecuador. From mid-November until now it has felt as though I was trapped with no options to move forward. This stagnant period of time however was not a waste of time in God’s eyes. I believe He planned it.

This quit time taught me to appreciate many things I had been taking for granted. I have learned to appreciate the city, the buses, the traffic, the busy malls and sidewalks. I learned what it is to be lonely. I learned that eating with no exercise expands your waist line exponentially. I learned to pray and most importantly to listen. I learned to ponder and think about each day’s events. I made mistakes but learned to recognized them, plan solutions and a better way to react in the future. I have learned to ask what was the lesson, why was it necessary, how can I make it better? 

This time period was all about connecting to Jesus and learning to communicate in both directions. It was about learning who Jesus really is, studying his character and his response to a variety of situations. Its one thing to say I believe in Jesus but quite another to say I know Jesus and I am a disciple of Jesus. To fashion your life after him and sincerely put the effort forward to be as much like him as possible is considerably more than just believing in him. Satin believes in Jesus! Satin knows he’s real! How much more should we?

I Thank God for this sort of sabbatical leave, this time to escape from the world.  What a difference it would make to the planet if everyone could have four months by themselves to reboot, re-focus and re-discover who they are and who they want to be.

Being back in London is like waking up after a long winter’s hibernation. I’m rested, I’m eager, ready willing and able. I’m hungry and ready to hunt. This past weekend I attended my second church service in two weeks and I’ve already asked the Reverend of the church to contact me. I need help but I am also willing to help out. I need a little more direction, some leadership; I have the drive to begin in some sort of a ministry. I have a roof over my head, transportation, a church family, access to jobs, and people. I have libraries and government offices loaded with resources.

I am staying with my sister for the time being. She has always opened her doors to anyone in need. I’m not too sure how long her patience will last with my not having a job and not contributing. My funds are dangerously low. Securing a job is still my first priority. Maintaining this Christian blog and helping out in some way through the church or even starting a home Bible study, small group is my second priority.

Even though I have been moved on and into a new season I am still being tested and taught new lessons. The old season is overlapping these early days of this new season. This past week I believe that I received another message and a test from God which I nearly outright failed but then caught myself. I’ll get it written up and post it in My Journal. Also I’ll post what I believe has to be one of the most disgusting dreams I’ve ever had. What was the purpose of this dream? What am I to decipher from it? Why now when entering this new season?  It was a pretty powerful week, overall.

Glad to be back! Thanks be to God!

Can You Be Bought? Are You For Sale?

How would you like to be bought and sold? Treated as a commodity, an object, or a possession? How would it make you feel if someone bought you right this instant, took you home and right in front of you started ironing out the details of the plans they have for you?

If you’re anything like me, you’re saying to yourself, “no way, I’m not for sale.” You don’t buy people, they’re not for sale, and they can’t be bought.  “Oh yes they are,” and “Oh yes they can!” 

Sadly, The Canadian Press reported in July 2018 the results of a StatsCan survey. Between 2009 and 2016, the police were aware of 865 human trafficking victims. 95% were female, 72% were under the age of 25, and 25% were children all bought and sold like pets. The average cost of a slave globally is $90.00. Today, there are 20 to 30 million slaves in the world. A US State Department reported that from 600,000 to 800,000 people are sold across international borders annually. Approximately 14,500 to 17,500 of those enter into the USA annually. At 32 billion dollars a year, trafficking is the 3rd largest worldwide industry.

But now again just like me you’re saying well, I’m not worried because no one wants me. I don’t have anything of value that anyone would want. I’m too old, I’m too weak, I don’t have the looks I once had. I’m just of no value at all, to anyone.   “Oh yes you are!”

Satin wants you, and he’ll do whatever he has to do to take possession of you! He’s persistent, and he never gives up trying, day or night, all year long. 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

We’re not for sale, but we have each sold ourselves out to Satin. How much did we receive? Nothing, and Satin loves it! He does not love us, in fact he despises us. What he loves is that each of us has joined him in Hell for all of eternity.

Oh no, not me, not you, well let’s just take a little test.

In your own mind, honestly answer these questions concerning yourself.

  1. How many lies have you told in your lifetime? Little white lies. Remember, not telling the whole truth and holding back, is lying.  Oh oh!
  2. Have you ever stolen something? As a child, a candy, a piece of gum or a coin, maybe you snuck a cookie. As a teenager or adult, have you ever downloaded illegally, music or movies?  Oh oh!
  3. Have you ever lusted over a woman or a man? In Matthew 5:28 Jesus says, if you lust over someone, you have committed adultery in your heart. Oh oh!
  4. Here’s a really serious one. Have you ever taken the Lord’s name in vein?  Cussing with the Lord’s name in the same sentence or using this very common phrase in its full form. OMG! Oh oh!
  5. Ahh! But at least you’ve never killed anyone. God says if you express hatred toward anyone you are guilty of murder in your heart.  Matthew 5:22   Oh oh!

Every one of us has just failed half of our Creator’s commandments?

How many of us will admit to committing idolatry. Do any of these sound familiar? Well, my God would never allow this or that. My God thinks that this is okay. I don’t think that my god would agree. I think that God wants me to do this. What we have done here is we have made our own god to worship. A god that meets our own criteria, one that allows us to do what we want and think. This is idolatry.  Oh oh!

Now wait just a minute here, you say! We didn’t realize that what we were doing was wrong. We were tricked. Well try telling that to the judge when you’re standing in the court room. Surely you don’t think a judge is going to say, “Oh, okay you can go home now.” “Sorry for the inconvenience.”

No! I think that you will have to agree that ignorance is no excuse. Leviticus 4:2 We’re going to be judged and penalized. Romans 2:16 Our God is pure, perfect, and sinless. He wants us to be part of His family in Heaven where there is no sin. Sin cannot be allowed in Heaven, or else, well, Heaven just wouldn’t be Heaven, would it?

When we find ourselves standing before God in His courtroom, what will His verdict be? Will we be found guilty or innocent? Oh oh!

Will we pass on to Heaven or are we destined for Hell?   Oh oh!

Thank goodness for us, that our God is a great, good and loving god. He could have just created a family for himself and placed them directly into Heaven but He desires more than that. He wants us, His family, to want Him and to choose Him.

Oh man! How it must shatter His heart to watch us flock over to Satin. Thank goodness once again, that God’s love for us is so great that he devised a plan where we can be bought, purchased, and owned. All we have to do is believe in Him.

Where Satin values us at nothing, God says each one of us is priceless.

How much are we worth? How much is God willing to pay? We are so valuable to God that he devised a plan exchanging the life of His one and only son, for ours. John 3:16 There has never been a price paid higher than the price Christ paid for us. He paid the ultimate price by dying on the cross, taking the punishment for our sins and all we have to do is believe in Christ, repent our sins and commit the rest of our lives to Jesus.

Yes, we can be bought. Yes, we can be sold! Yes, we can be owned!

I am owned by Jesus. Who owns you?

February 7th, 2019

4:30 am    I wake up with all these evil thoughts going through my mind and after what seemed to be several minutes, I remembered who my savior is. I call on the entire Holy Trinity and plead to have these thoughts taken away from me. I ask for help to suit up and to be strengthened to ward off these attacks that are obviously from Satin. Almost immediately my mind is cleared and redirected. I begin thinking about all the good things God has given me and before I know it I have dozed off.

The next time I wake it is 5:30am. My mind is filled with ideas of how I can use Ginger my dog to reach out to children and others, introducing them to God as seen through Ginger’s mind and eyes. Quickly I get up so I can jot down as many of these ideas as I can remember. I have learned that these bits and pieces of inspiration can dissipate pretty quickly. Sometimes no matter how hard I try, I just cannot recall them. Even though the ideas I had would have been fantastic to share and possibly help strengthen God’s kingdom. They just slip away so fast and are lost. It’s like when you have a very detailed dream and then the next day you try to tell someone about it and all those details are jumbled up or are no longer there. The dream doesn’t make any sense and your friend is looking at you like a deer looking into the headlights of a fast approaching car.   

So, now I am wide awake and I prepare a grapefruit and some oatmeal for my breakfast. My beloved morning cup of java is brewed and that aroma, I swear just somehow adds to its flavor. After expressing my thanks for the many blessings I’ve already received, I’m now ready to settle down and start my morning quite time with Jesus.

Today’s, “Verse of the day” is Psalm 97:10 (NLT) You who love the Lord, hate evil! He protects the lives of His godly people and rescues them from the power of the wicked.

I don’t want to sound proud or smug but I am really not surprised that once again I can relate todays verse to my 4:30 AM wake up. I have come to expect some sort of a correlation between the events carrying on in my life and these daily verses. 

As soon as I finished reading the verse of the day I thought out load. If I can place my trust and faith in the Trinity when I’m dozy and half asleep and be immediately comforted, I can most certainly place my trust and faith in Jesus Christ all day long while I am awake and alert.

How do you not start a day like this without a wide, ear to ear smile on your face? When God speaks to me I can’t restrain myself from smiling and chuckling out load.

Today is going to be a great day!