Exhumation of a BIG Skeleton

There’s a skeleton in my closet that has to leave. Excess baggage that’s weighing me down and I’ve slugged it around for 30+years. The skeleton is the bitterness, shame, hatred and unforgiveness  from a very, very toxic and painful divorce.

If you are leaning toward a divorce, listen up. Think twice and consider any alternatives. Do your research and know in advance what you’re getting yourself into. Especially if you have children. Consider what the Bible has to say about divorce. Mark 10: 6-9 NASB, Matthew 19:6 ESV, Ephesians 5:21-33 ESV. I encourage you to seek out faith based marriage counseling. Talk to your pastor or any pastor. Your marriage can be rebuilt and restored. I strongly recommend prayer and asking for spiritual help. James 1:5 NLT, 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 NLT.

If you choose to divorce let me give you a heads up and express what I went through. I suffered stress, emotional anguish and trauma, financial stress, bankruptcy, mental exhaustion, unwarranted damage to my integrity. I watched my children being used as pawns and bargaining chips without any regard for their feelings. Resentment, bitterness, being treated unfairly, badly damaged and broken friendships and family relationships. I was constantly on the defense. Anger, exclusion, isolation, depression, sleep deprivation, disappointment, false accusations, suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. Greed and selfishness, mental and physical abuse, loss of identity, low self-esteem and shame.

Your divorce will have long lasting effects not only on yourself but on innocent loved ones. Your divorce will be far reaching and affect others that you cannot even imagine. Other people in your community, at your place of work and anyone you are in contact with, directly or indirectly. When you get into it you will not be able to think rationally or clearly. Your future will be so blurred by the smoke that reaching tomorrow will be your future goal. One day at a time will be your new reality for a long, long time.

After all this, the resentment I felt turned me into an unrecognizable me. I became a miserable, angry person. I hated all women to point of even questioning my own mother’s treatment of my father. No one wanted to be around me. I didn’t want to be around me. After unsuccessfully attempting to commit suicide for the third time I again sought professional help and that is when the bitterness set in. To think that I came so close to exiting this life in order to escape the cruelty I was suffering and then that led to the inability to ever forgive.

Sadly, I now see that my unforgiveness had absolutely no effect on the perpetrators. But it has held me back, bogged me down, held me prisoner and cost me 30+ years of my life. Only through much prayer have I finally reached the point where I am now able to let go of this skeleton.

With the love and guidance of the Holy Spirit who lives within me; To my ex-wife, I forgive you. To my ex-wife’s lawyer, I forgive you. To the one particular judge who was obviously a friend of my ex-wife’s lawyer, I forgive you for your ridiculous judgment that by the way never happened because of its absolute absurdity.  To the multitude of friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances that were coerced to join in on the feeding frenzy against me, I forgive all of you.

Although I was not a follower of Christ at the time, God witnessed all that was said and done. I hand over this incredible burden, once and for all. I’m not carrying it any longer. It is now in God’s hands for Him to judge and deal with as He sees fit.

With God’s guidance, I am so ready to start planning the rest of my life.

Are you up to going through a divorce? Will you be able break the chains that imprison you afterward?  

Rewarded

Quite some time ago I printed up a couple of resumes, one for each location of the same business. A position was not available at the time but I just thought it would be a great place to work. One day a few weeks ago, out of the blue I received a telephone call asking if I had found work yet and would I be interested in coming in for an interview. WELL! YEAH!

After failing at a couple of other interviews where I marched in under my own power and full of self-confidence, “someone”, (hint)”The Holy Spirit” put it into my mind to pray and ask for guidance, help and support during the interview. I invited the entire Trinity along to join me, and to intervene wherever I fell short. The interview I felt, went very good. I was calm, laid back and relaxed. At the end of the interview I was asked to provide character references. This is always a good sign.

One week went by and I hadn’t heard anything but “something” again placed the idea in my mind to send an e-mail and lightly exclaim that I was still available and ready, willing and able to work. Well, another week went by and still I didn’t hear anything! “Something” told me to send another e-mail but this would be the last. It wouldn’t be good to be accused of harassment. Two days later on a Friday I received an e-mail saying that I would be contacted early in the next week. Now this just has to be a good sign.  

Just before meeting with my Sunday, Bible Study Group, I told one of my friends that I was pretty hopeful of finally being granted a job. After the study, my friend wished me the best and asked me to promise to let him know if my feelings came true. The study leader asked me what was up and so I told him my news. He reached out his hand for what I though was going to be a congratulations hand shake but he gripped my hand as if I were dangling off the edge of a cliff and he was pulling me to safety. His wife came over and placed her hand on my shoulder and they began to pray. He thanked God for my new opportunity and asked for His blessings on me and that if this opportunity was not to materialize I would continue to wait knowing He (God) has something better in store. Wow! What an unexpected act of caring, love and brotherhood. Aside from learning and understanding the Bible on a deeper level, this is what a small group is all about.  

Monday came and went with no telephone call or e-mail. Tuesday came and went and still no phone call or e-mail. Late Wednesday morning the phone rang when I was in the shower. I didn’t hear it but when I had finished showering, I heard the answering machine beeping, indicating there was a recorded message. It was the call I had been agonizing over. I returned the call immediately but was sent to voice mail where I left a message that I had received their request to call back . Later on in the mid-afternoon I called once again but was sent to voice mail again. Ahh you have got to be kidding me! I mean seriously I finally got a break and I lost it for the sake of a shower. Considerably later and after the business had surely closed I gave up on ever hearing from this business again. Finally the phone rang and I was told that I did NOT get the job I applied for but I was offered a casual/part time position if I wanted it.

It was so disappointing to once again be rejected. I accepted the job trying my best to sound excited about it. Certainly something is better than nothing. I moped around the house stewing about this latest let down. I went to bed early and once I had calmed down, “The Holy Spirit” and maybe Jesus as well started reasoning with me. Hey! Did you not pray for a job? Did you or did you not ask God to give you a chance to prove that you’re worthy of a job? It’s a job! What did you have an hour ago? Did you even think to thank Him? Psalm 9:1 NIV. This opportunity checks off all the requirements you wanted in a job. What are the chances that will happen again? You’re going to be working at helping people in need. You will have every Sunday off and never have to miss church. You will receive some benefits. It pays better than minimum wage. It’s a small company with a small family atmosphere. There is no labor union. You have not hit bottom yet, is that where you’d rather be? Be grateful for goodness sake! Start with what you’ve been given, do your very best and see where it takes you.

They were so right and I was so wrong. I may not have the position I wanted but I have work. God has heard my prayers and once again He has delivered. Psalm 118:21 NIV How do I know what He’s thinking? I don’t know His plans for me. This could just be the beginning, a test or a sampling. No doubt, if I work as though I am working for Him, proving myself worthy and showing my appreciation He’ll increase my blessings. It’s an opportunity to praise God through managing the wages that I earn and give back to the Lord His share.

I prayed so many times and I even begged for a chance to prove myself to Him in a job and now that I have been blessed I’ve already failed. I did not thank God for this blessing. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV.  I got down on my knees and I prayed. I thanked Him and apologized for being ungrateful. I confessed that I am weak and I would need His strength to keep me from becoming prideful and thinking I can manage from here on in. I asked that He keep me appreciative and performing my very best. I asked that He guide me and help to plan the proper use of the wage that I receive.

In so many ways this starter job is of key importance because everything I think and do, how I act and react, is being scrutinized. My attitude will determine whether I am worthy of more and whether I should be allowed to progress forward. My faith is being tested. I must remain positive and hopeful.   Hebrews 11:6 NLT

I would do well to remember the second sentence in Isaiah 60:22 NCV, “I am the Lord and when it is time I will make these things happen quickly.

What Are My (TRUE) Motives in Prayer?

 After praying for blessings upon my family, friends and myself, I thought, “If I were God and this prayer were prayed to me what would I think about it”. Well, I wouldn’t take too kindly to it, at all.

First of all, family and friends were added into the prayer so that the prayer wouldn’t seem selfish. Second, the blessing asked for was just a cover for the real worldly wants that would be gained after the blessing was given. Third, the gains would not require any trust or faith in God’s abilities. Fourth, the worshiper (me) was impatiently trying to speed up God’s timing. Four fails. Not on your life buddy.

Ever since I stumbled across the last sentence in James 4:2 NLT, which simply says, you have not because you ask not. I’ve become pretty good at asking. What an awful thought, that I could be deprived of something for any length of time, simply because I didn’t ask for it. It wasn’t too long before I thought that I had figured out how God thinks about things.  I thought that I knew what I could and could not ask for, and what I would or would not receive. Whoops!

 I figured that pretty much anything spiritual with good honest heartfelt intent would be granted quickly if not instantly. (Examples) Oh Dear Lord, please give me the strength not to throw this hammer. 1 Corinthians 1: 8 NIVLord, I’m under attack by Satin. I need your help to once and for all, dispose of this old sin. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 NIV.  Material things prayed for I figured take longer to receive, if at all. Granting these request seem to depend on various factors. Is it a need or is it greed? Will it make me proud? Will I love it more than God thus “it”, whatever “it” is, could become my new god? Am I spiritually ready for it? Can it help build God’s kingdom?  Prayers prayed for situations seem to be a hit or miss, at least for me anyway. These prayers are almost always prompted by my anxiety. In every instance I believe that my anxiety was greatly reduced or relieved entirely. The actual situation may or may not be granted or possibly be delayed. (Example) When I was praying for a church and a church family, I received two nays before receiving a yea. When I prayed for a job that I really wanted, I was turned down. I thought I was fully qualified and the best man for the job. Apparently, God thought otherwise. Philippians 4:6-7.  Prayers for personal gain seem to depend on my motives. (Examples) When I prayed for the zeal to learn, study and understand the Bible, I would never in a million years have guessed I would at times spend upwards of eight and ten hours in a day, studying and conversing with God. When I prayed to win the lottery jackpot the only thing I won was another opportunity to purchase another ticket. Exodus 9:16 NLT.

 Somewhere along the line my prayers morphed into praying for specific blessings which isn’t a bad thing. But then, cocky me, assumed I’d receive my request based on my superior understanding of how God thinks. Then my second mistake, I focused on just how my blessing would come and what else would come with it.

I’m like a child who has learned how to get what he wants from his parents, except this Father, Our Father in Heaven, He’s on top of the game and will not be manipulated. God is not a vending machine where I deposit a prayer and out pops my request along with three complimentary items just because I’m so special in His eyes. I forgot He has the ability to read my mind and my heart’s intentions. 1 Chronicles 28:9 NLT.  I really need to receive this verse into my heart, learn it and take it seriously.                  

At some point I began to pray in a worldly way. In the world you work and get paid, you help someone and you’re praised for it, you scratch their back and they’ll scratch yours, I complement you and you return the compliment. There’s always a payback. So I have been offering up my prayers with something good in mind, expecting my prayer to be answered, which can also be good, BUT before receiving my blessing I started to count all of the fringe benefits, that would come to me. Lately, I’ve noticed that when I pray, my prayers are either taking an exceptionally long time to be honored or are not granted at all. Is it any wonder?

It’s time to turn over a new leaf and reanalyze what I think I know. It’s time to pray earnestly and compassionately from my heart for my family, my friends, and my needs. Then leave it at that. God    decides whether to grant or turn down my prayers.

Other related scriptures;

Philippians 2:3 NIV.  1 Corinthians 10:24 NLT

The very same day when I was pondering all this over I was out and about, delivering resumes. In the afternoon, I stopped into a used book store and bought a cheap book of daily devotionals, one for each day of the month($1.00). It’s based on the Prayer of Jabez. The devotionals all point to proper prayer and intentions.

I think it’s so wonderful how God finds ways to place the answers that I need into my hands.

A Limited Time to Live

Well here we go again. What a month of revelation it has been. Never before, have I had so many dreams, thoughts, and circumstances open up before me. All of these, I’m sure are God’s way of confirming what I have learned by reading His word, studying daily devotionals, attending Bible studies and church services.

Once again, and I believe it was just prior to my waking, I had another experience. I don’t know anything about dreams and dreaming or when they occur but I suppose it’s always just before waking up because that’s when all of mine seem to have happened. Well anyway, this time my encounter wasn’t a dream but more of a suggestion and recommendations. I wasn’t being addressed by anyone specific but by an invisible voice that just came out of nowhere.  Like you would expect might come from a spirit. Holy smokes, just as I finished writing that last sentence, I realized my first dream was with, The Son, Jesus, my last dream was with The Father, God, and now this one is from, The Holy Spirit. The Holy Trinity, all three have now spoken to me at three different times. Not exactly in the order we are used to hearing them presented, The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. A while ago I did have a dream from The Father which would place these occurrences in the order of how we address the Holy Trinity. I haven’t written about the first because I am still struggling to share and how to share the content of that one.

This time, I heard, “what if I told you that you only have a limited time to live?” I was speechless. I believe God has a sense of humor but I don’t believe He would joke about death. It was dead quiet (no pun intended). I was a little panicky and a hurricane of thoughts was quickly accelerating in my mind.  Why? What is it? What’s wrong? When? The reply was, “It doesn’t matter why and there’s nothing wrong. It’s time, and it will be today.  Zowza! “I strongly suggest, you get your thoughts in order and carefully plan your time.” I don’t remember being afraid but in a panic, I just couldn’t seem to set any priorities. As quick as I thought of one thing I thought of another that was more important. Many were of no importance at all. Needless to say I woke up a little disturbed. The thought followed me all day long.                                                                                                                                                     

If today were the last day of your life and you just found out about it, what priorities come to your mind?  Okay, here, let’s make this real. An out of control car, comes speeding around the corner, hits you and sends you flying. You’re lying on the pavement, a small crowd of people are gathering around and you hear someone call out, “call 911.” You don’t really notice any searing pain but you know you’re really messed up. Instinctively, deep down inside, you know, this is it. What would be your priorities?   How exactly would you prepare for eternity?                                   

Now is the time to get your house in order. It’s time to get all your ducks in a row. We have absolutely no idea when our number will come up. Jesus can return at any moment, nothing has to be wrong. How long do you have? A year, a month, a week, days. In this scenario a day at the most, possibly only an hour or just minutes.                                                                                            

We’ve got to make this good and it has to be right. Are you going to be thinking about all the material things you’ve accumulated? All that money you’ve invested, in your stocks, mutual funds, bank accounts and in your pension plan. Guess what? You’re not taking it with you. How about your car? You’re not taking that either.  Not your home; your shoes, clothing or jewelry. I think we can throw out any ideas of making material items a priority. How about your career, you know the job you put before your family. How about your gym membership, the “Golf Club,” your baseball team or your booked vacation? Sorry! You won’t be going anymore; your friends and acquaintances will figure it out on their own. So, we can throw out your social life. What’s left?

I’ve given this some pretty serious thought. Without a moments delay I want to be sure that I am right with my savor, Jesus Christ.  Dear Lord Jesus, come down from heaven and please take my hand. I’m sorry for any sins I may have or have committed today. Thank you for giving up your life for the likes of me and thank you for paying the penalties for my sins. Thank you, that my sins have been forgiven. I forgive everyone who has ever sinned against me. I’m yours Jesus and I look forward to following you to my new home up above. Please stay with me until this life ends. In your name, A Men                   

If I still had some time left I would then want to make sure my family and friends were sure of their day of reckoning. If I had the time to go to them or assuming they would come to me, I would ask them to join me in prayer. I would pray that each of them would place their trust in Jesus and on the spot confess their sins, promising to try their utmost to continue sin free. I would pray that each one would offer up their own lives and ask Jesus to become their shepherd, their life coach or manager. I would not want anyone to be sad for me but to be happy and know in their hearts I will soon be in heaven. Goodbyes would be appropriate while there was time.

Spiritually, are you ready? Are you sure of your destination? Will your family and friends be joining you in the future? There’s time.

My Dog Ginger

Ginger is a Cocker Spaniel mix. She was rescued by a friend from a basket full of forcibly weaned puppies.  Stolen away from her mother, hand selected by a human and separated from her brothers and sisters. She was abducted if you will and taken to a strange new home where there were no other dogs. For her, what a dreadful day it was. It all began with a simple day trip, ironically to Parque de la Madre (Mother’s Park), Cuenca, Ecuador.

My friend’s wife named this new cute bundle of joy, Lollipop. Lollipop required a lot of care. She was not on solid food so had to be patiently introduced to bread and milk. Lollipop had to be taught to chew and lap up her food rather than suck it from a teat. Potty training was a full time job.

Now, my friend and his wife were getting on in their years as we all are and after suffering through numerous sleepless nights of howls and whining, uncountable potty runs, followed up with specialty meal preparations and lots of coaxing, it all proved somewhat unmanageable.

I had only met Lollipop on one occasion before being asked to consider the possibility of adopting her. I discussed the offer to adopt with my roommate and it was decided that she would be a welcome member of the household.

Thank goodness we were told that we could rename her. I dreaded having to take Lollipop for walks and having to call her name out in public. Not a very suiting name that a man would give to his dog. Lollipop became Jengibre, Spanish for Ginger, the color of her fur.

Ginger was truly a rescued puppy and so fortunate to be alive with a long life ahead of her. On the second day I had her we attended a veterinarian appointment. She was started on a health maintenance program with follow up appointments that would make sure she was always in top health. Soon afterwards we discovered that she was absolutely loaded with intestinal worms. I feared for the lives of the other pups as well as the mother.  

To bring this run on story to a point. I believe that God was behind all of this. You see, I was not a follower of God or Jesus. I knew about them but I had no relationship with them, nor did I need one. I have always done as I wished when I wished, until now. It seems that the time had come for God’s master plan for my life to be set into action. God would use Ginger to help ease me in to Jesus who would then work his magic on my heart.

God works in mysterious ways. Little did I know that our Father in heaven had been busy behind the scenes and all that I had ever known, done and worked for was about to come crashing down. Ginger was to be a big part of my recovery and transformation. Our father does not work the way we think He should. He works the way that He knows will be the best for everyone. God used my friend to rescue Ginger and knew that He would also have my friend gift Ginger to me at just the right moment in time to help me to turn to Jesus who would in turn rescue me. My friend and his wife would still be able to enjoy Ginger as we were very close friends. Visitation rights would not be an issue.   

When you’re broken and buried in fear and despair. When you’re pushed down as low as you can possibly be and hope does not exist, I’ll tell you from experience, what will happen. You’ll want to be alone so that you can do the one thing society says that you cannot. You’ll crawl to your bed possibly taking with you something that may provide any little bit of comfort. (Ginger, in my case). You begin a pity party and you start to sob.  Your sobs turn to out and out crying and the tears will flow like Niagara Falls.

Once you realize there is no way out of this mess and you cannot save yourself this time. Once you realize there’s nowhere to turn and no one to turn to, there is only one option left. You cry out to God, you cry out to Jesus, you get on your knees and you beg for mercy and grace. It does not matter how much you refused to believe or how much you rejected the idea of there even being a God, a single creator of everything that exist. You’ll now believe from your heart what you have known to be true all along. You have no other choice.

This is not how we should come to God. Unfortunately, it is how many relationships with God start. How is that? Using God as an absolute last resort, after you have used up every possible option and tried everything else. Thank God, He is merciful, patient and forgiving. If you were to come to me as an absolute last hope, things could have a different outcome for you. I want to be like God but I am not.   

What do you do when someone’s hurting? Do you tell them don’t cry, everything will be okay. “NO! It won’t!” Do you tell them, you’ll get over it. “No! I won’t!” Maybe you can suggest that you know how  they are feeling. “No! You do not!” Here is what you do. You do what Ginger did. Absolutely nothing! You sit with the person quietly and you don’t say a word. Job 2:13 NIV Be humble, patient and gentle Ephesians 4:2 NIV and let them know you are feeling their hurt with them. Cry along with them.  When one member of the family is hurting the whole family hurts together.

Ginger was so patient and so quite. Although she was just a four month old puppy and I only had her a couple of weeks, she had studied me well. Ginger knew my upbeat happy demeanor and she knew this new emotion was not right. She related my pain and tears to her own. The day she was taken from her mother and siblings. You could see the empathy in her face.

This day, Ginger was my landing pad. The first of many uses God has had for her in my life to date.

March 21st, 2019

What a Couple of crazy weeks, I’ve had!

Despite the circumstances in my life, I’m still trying my very best to build and strengthen my faith in Jesus. I am surprisingly calm and I sleep soundly, waking up well rested. Very obviously this is a reward from Christ himself.

At this point there is no doubt that my daughter will go on her own way, and I am to go on mine.

A new development came to light and a bit of a whammy for me. My daughter could not arrange movers to come on Saturday the 30th of March, they were all booked. I discovered with only a week to go that they were to come on the 23rd and remove everything from the house. Suddenly I had one week less than I had thought.

In a panic I e-mailed my friends right away and asked them to come and pick me up. “My plan,” “move first and work out the details later.” Even as I was planning to move, my plans were unraveling. I learned that there was no bathroom in my friend’s apartment. It had been gutted quite some time ago with plans for updating and had not been finished. It would take a week before a toilet would be functional and also new subflooring was needed. There was no room for any of my things because the apartment was filled with the owner’s belongings. I would only have one room that was cleared out. I was thinking long term rental, they were thinking short term with a signed and notarized contract. A sum of money not possible for me was suggested as rent and they were thinking of even more rental income in the future when they would rent out each bedroom individually. In addition the electricity is on its own meter and the gas and water usage would be calculated and billed to me monthly. 

Not surprising, this sudden and reckless idea of mine fell through.

 What did I do wrong? I panicked and I lost my focus on Jesus, once again turning away from faith to my own ill-conceived plans. I decided to rely upon worldly resources, my bank account, to float me until I could find work. Again, I was not exercising faith in Jesus.  Proverbs 11:28 Those who depend on their wealth will fall like the leaves of autumn, but the righteous will prosper like the leaves of summer.

I don’t believe there’s a proverb for depleting one’s finances and not replenishing them. If there was I’m sure I’d be referred to as a fool.

Was God right in closing this door on me? Absolutely! Everything screamed, “Don’t do it!”

It’s my first priority to continue looking for a full time job. Searching for an apartment will be my second priority. How can I sign a lease and not know my income? How can I search a location not knowing where I will work?

Simultaneously, I had to get myself refocused on Jesus and once again place my faith back into Jesus’ hands. While actively searching for work, am I already lacking in faith? No! I can’t keep praying for God’s will to be done and then just sit idly by and wait for a job opportunity to come to me. I believe that I have to actually make a move and make choices.   

I’ve discovered through my reading the Bible that faith doesn’t follow signs but instead, signs follow faith. It’s a pattern that shows up time after time throughout the Bible. Just look at the stories of Abraham, Joseph, David, Samuel, Esther, Ruth, and the disciples. The list does not stop here either. First an act of faith is shown and then we read about the confirmation afterward.  

Once you make a move, then God will follow up your faith with His blessing. 

If I want God to show up in my life, I believe that I have to do as much as I can with what I have on hand. Then, I turn to God and I pray for Him to bless what I have done. Pray and ask for anointing on my life, my body, my blog, my finances, on a job, for a home and place to rest my head.

The 23rd is only one day away. I’ve no home, no job and no real solid plan. I will go to the city where there is a variety of options for work. In the city, I’ll finally be able to once again attend church. Oh how I wish I had established a church family to turn to, now when I am in need the most.

This is one of the, “Verses of the Day” from the past two weeks that really seemed to speak to me. James 1:5-6 NLT  If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.

March 5th, 2019

I have known now for two weeks that my daughter has decided to move out of the rented house where we are living. She expressed that she was fed up with a number of instances that have occurred and told the landlady she (we) would be moved out by the end of March. That is only four short weeks away. I asked where she planned on moving and she replied I have no idea.

Where we are is small, far from high end living, but only $650 per month. Now, several realities present themselves. First and last month rent will be required up front and center for a new residence. Any other place for rent will start at an absolute minimum of $800.00 per month.

I recalled that a friend of mine use to rent an apartment in their house. I don’t know what it has in the way of bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, appliances or services so I contacted them by e-mail and asked if they would consider renting it out once again. It may possibly be well suited to our needs and they could receive an extra income. Knowing it has not been rented in a long time and it’s probably being used for excess storage, I volunteered that I would be willing to clean and prepare the apartment; they wouldn’t have to do anything. I suggested we should get together and talk about it.

When a reply came back without a definite NO I spoke to my daughter about it. My news appeared to fall on deaf ears and my message was drowned out by complaints of how high the cost of rent is. This was 3 days ago. Two days ago, I asked if she had given anymore thought as to where we would be moving, pointing out that there is not a lot of time to find a suitable place and orchestrate the move. Still she has no idea, so again I mention that we could maybe rent the apartment from my friends but we will have to decide quickly. The apartment will need to be cleaned and prepared and we must get started packing and searching for movers.

Immediately, she tells me that she does not want to live in London. I replied that I know it may not be the best but it would be a roof over our heads. Even though she does not know where she will be working yet, she says London is too far from her work. She continued with, the traffic is too crazy in and out of London. She will be too tired, the time traveling is too much, she would have to drive my granddaughter to school every day and pick her up every night plus travel to work and back home again. It’s just too much and will cost too much for gas. It wouldn’t be fair to move her daughter to another school when she has made friends and is being invited to birthday parties who in turn are being invited to her birthday at the beginning of April.

Once again, I suggest that my friend’s apartment is at the very least a roof over our heads and it provides a temporary solution to our present dilemma. My daughter says she is not at all worried about where to stay because if she has to she can sleep in her car and with her gym membership she can have daily showers. What about my granddaughter, I asked, where would she go?  The reply was as equally simple. She can stay at her grandmother’s.

All righty then! Let’s see if I can organize all the pieces to this jigsaw puzzle.  I leave my daughter’s and stay with my sister for one week, to take care of business that was just not possible to accomplish in, Little Hicksville. My stay with my sister was pushed to four weeks because of a series of events that kept me from returning back home. Upon returning home I’m met with the sudden urgency to vacate the property within six weeks. The flat out resistance to even consider my friend’s apartment, every suggestion that I present is cut down, the mention of a birthday party with guest yet no idea where we will be living.      

I see a pretty big hole in all of this. It doesn’t seem to include me anywhere.

Now, other tidbits of information are starting to make sense. On a couple of occasions since returning, my daughter has left the house to talk with her husband on the phone. Why all of a sudden the top secrecy? My granddaughter mentioned a house that she and her mom visited for moving to and my daughter telling me that it’s only a 20 minute drive from the next town over to where she hopes she will be hired.

Now if I were an educated man and were to have to guess I’d say that my services are no longer needed at this time. It seems that it’s God’s will for me to move on.

 Uncertainty sure has a way of frightening the daylights out of you but there is a bit of scripture, I’ve long understood and practiced many times before, it’s Philippians 4:6-7 NIV, It reads; don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

If you ever find yourself with your back up against the wall try to remember this verse. It really helps to know God is there for you.

One Season And Into The Next – Part Two

The way I see it, is God figures that after my studying the Bible, daily for the past almost three years, it’s high time for me to start sharing the wealth of information He has given me with as many others as I can. So now the question is, HOW. How in tarnation am I to do that when I can’t go to church or visit friends and family to speak with them? I can’t go shopping, walk in the downtown or thru a mall to share with the people there. I can’t get a job and share with co-workers because I am trapped here without transportation. The one thing I do have at my disposal here is the internet and thank you Lord for that, otherwise, a rope and noose might start looking pretty interesting to me. So how can I share God’s word? E-mail everyone in my contact list and tell them the good news about Jesus Christ. I don’t see that working out all too well. Randomly send e-mails to businesses, nah! Post my feelings on Facebook maybe?

Now I recall that one-word message, the one that I believed came to me from God, months ago. “Blog!” So I suppose I am to start up a website and blog about my experiences, new discoveries, interesting facts, beliefs and how it has all changed me.

After a lot of praying, asking friends I trust, what they think about the idea and searching for information about blogging, I’m going for it. I haven’t the foggiest idea what I’m doing. That became very apparent almost instantly, but I’ve got the time to learn. God has made sure of that. Good thing too! HostPapa, is a Toronto based website server and they claim you can have a website up and running in five minutes. I have a gazillion notes to share so what’s stopping me, right?

I bought this website plan on January 3rd and I’m still trying to figure out all the widgets and what they do. Mostly, I have figured out what they can’t do. Heck, did you even know that a widget is actually a tool? I sure didn’t. I used several different widgets before I figured out I can put widgets inside other widgets. Too bad, there’s not a widget that can find everything I spent hours upon hours creating, only to have it all just up and disappear.

I would now like to draw to your attention and offer up my thanks to a very good friend of mine, Juan. Without his expertise and hours upon hours of unpaid service to this site, this website would never have come about. Today the website is finalized and officially posted. We are pleased with the layout, the appearance and the features. We are also confident that we can submit blogs regularly and maintain the site here on out. 

Search A Prayer

How does a child get what he wants, if he doesn’t ask for it? My friends, we are children of God and all we have to do is ask Him, for what we want. Just as we listen and provide for our children, He will listen and provide for us. Sometimes it will be yes, sometimes the answer will be no, or it may be not yet but God hears every prayer 1 Peter 3:12 (NLT) and God answers every prayer. Psalm 17:6 (NLT)

You have not because you ask not. Check out these verses from the Book of James.  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lust.  James 4:2-3 (KJV) 

John 16:24 (NIV)“Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”

Are you wanting to pray for something specific and don’t know how to pray it? Scroll down and search a prayer alphabetically.  

Bereavement: O God, come to my assistance; O Lord, hurry to help me. Please take the consuming anguish I feel right now; take it from me and hold me in Your arms. Heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds (Psalm 147:3) Amen

Grief: God of love and mercy, embrace all those whose hearts today overflow with grief, unanswered questions and such a sense of loss. Grant them space to express their tears. Hold them close through the coming days.

Loss: Dearest Jesus, who wept at the death of your friend and taught that they who mourn shall be comforted, grant us the comfort of your presence in our loss. Send Your Holy Spirit to direct us lest we make hasty or foolish decisions. Send Your Spirit to give us courage lest through fear we recoil from living. Send Your Spirit to bring us your peace lest bitterness, false guilt, or regret take root in our hearts. The Lord has given. The Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Amen

Prayer of Salvation

Dear Lord Jesus, I drifted away from you, in search of my own goals and tried to achieve them my way. I fell into sin and lived a selfish life, never obeying God’s commands. Everything I’ve done is a mess and failure is my middle name. I’m so sorry Jesus. You lived here on earth as a sinless man and being God, you know what I have done and what I am guilty of. You laid your life down for me and took my sins upon yourself, paying the ultimate price to free me from my sins. I confess my sins and I ask for your forgiveness. Romans 10:13 promises, For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” I ask that you will accept my life into your hands and take over control. Teach me and use me the best way you know how, to fulfill God’s plan for me. I trust in you, I believe in you and I believe you were resurrected from the dead. You cheated death and now sit with God, our father in heaven. I love you Jesus. Amen

Matthew 6:9-13 (KJV) The Lord’s Prayer

Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.
Amen.

Psalm 23 (KJV)

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The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
Thou anointest my head with oil;
My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. Amen.

Do you have a prayer that you use for a particular situation, worry, need or a sin? A prayer of thanks or for a blessing, a prayer for when you’re lonely or when you need a job. Maybe a prayer for friendship or to repair one. Send me your prayers and we’ll build an exhaustive prayer base for all of us to use the2yochristian@finchwisdom.com    Subject Line: Prayers